At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
