So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
