My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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