I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
