big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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