he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
