im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
