Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
im holly from the hills drunk
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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