When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
