Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
