Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
