The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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