Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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