You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
