I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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