we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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