I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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