So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
