No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
