I want to have your abortion
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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