just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
