dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
