I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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