your room smells of hookers.
And success
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
