Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
