just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
