I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
