I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Randomize
