thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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