I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
