batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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