carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
