If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
