Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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