hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
