There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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