What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Randomize
