woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize