Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
