$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
