In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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