how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
