his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
