Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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