i barfeds in our rink
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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