i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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