i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Randomize
