Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Sober January is a disaster.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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