Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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