they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
